Being a grown up.

Growing up is such a slow process that most of us don’t realize when we grew up. But sometimes it can be hastened by circumstances. That’s when the brutality of being an adult actually sinks in. Not many would actually pay attention to this minute detail in life. Everyone just disregard it I guess. I however, have been thinking about this for a long time now. Especially over the past few months.

As kids everything was under the care of our parents, during the school days, the books being sorted out, clothes, food, everything. We barely knew what went into the entire process. The teenage years were spent rebelling and pretending to be grown ups who can handle our own shopping, style of dressing, where to go where not to go, mostly under our parents’ unapproving watch. Now, beyond the teens is when the real responsibility sinks in, as I am nearing the end of my college life I realize I am no longer the little kid who used to hold her dad’s hand and walk unassuming of the vindictive world around her. She was in dad’s safe hands and that’s all that mattered to her. Though most of my life was spent away from my parents, I never really had to take any responsibility of my own, I was sheltered under the tender loving care of my grandparents’. Who better than them to make you believe that you are still their darling little kid! =) So life was still happy go lucky for me. Then came the time when my aunt had to be away and I had to handle a few things at home, including taking care of my grandma, it may not be much but it started with the little daily chores like locking up and cleaning up the night’s dishes etc. Not a big deal, no real responsibility. I was more and maybe even now, the kind who prefers to let the elders take care of all this stuff, running the household etc. To myself I was still the little girl who had nothing to worry about than her own routines. Little did I realize that to the outer world I was an adult? Then when all of a sudden a situation arose where I had to take up responsibility, I never thought I would slip into the role with the panache that I did. Stepping up to authoritative figures, being the care taker, the guardian, the host, I managed it all with ease. But throughout it all I kept wishing that my parents were here instead to handle all this and I would just be there doing what they ask me to. Yet they were placing their faith in me, hoping that I would handle the situation in their place, calling me for updates and even asking my suggestions, I was never asked suggestions as a kid, I just did what I was told to do and was pretty happy with that too. Then I realized that someday I have to realize that I am no longer a kid. I can no longer shy away from responsibility, I have to stand up for myself and those around me.Things are being expected from me now and I have to live up to them. Somehow my transition from a teen to an adult has been quite phenomenal in a relatively short time, aided by circumstances. Though it does give me a sense of achievement, how I wish I was still the little girl in my dad’s arms.